I was consulting the Ngee Ann Polytechnic sidebar – yes, the very links I’ve placed to the left of this blog’s main page – and realised that, with the exception of the Storytelling Boffin, given his “unique” situation, and probably Hannah, I’m the only one in my year one class still keeping this place up to date with one essay-length post every now and then. Everyone else has either left their WordPress.com blogs for greener pastures, or have taken the trouble to close it down altogether, so now I ask myself this question:
Why am I still here?
This blog, along with virtually every other online account I’ve ever signed up to, came into existence for a single purpose: they were all necessities.
I joined up with Hotmail when I realised that I needed an e-mail address to use MSN Messenger. After almost three years since I stopped actively using Windows Live Messenger, I still find myself using this e-mail account, which was only needed back then to enter MSN Messenger.
My forum profile at Hard Light Productions only came about because I needed to troubleshoot an error in FreeSpace 2 that had me stumped. I only needed an account to highlight a single problem to a bunch of experienced people, nothing more, and yet, even until today, I still visit the Hard Light Productions Forums and being part of that community, despite never originally having the intention to be part of it.
Now we come to this, my WordPress.com blog. This blog came about because my Storytelling lecturer required everyone in his class to. See that Pages list? This blog was partly formed for every single page listed there. This Storytelling module of mine ended two years ago, and yet I still post here, albeit infrequently.
In recent weeks, I’ve created a Facebook account and brought it up to speed with a contacts of my co-workers and the people I trust the most combined, and to experience the fuss behind Bejeweled Blitz. Like this blog, my Facebook account was created specifically for one module that I’m taking for this semester (which ends in August). Given that I’ve already spent so much time fine-tuning it, I’m fairly certain that, like this blog, my Windows Live Hotmail account and my Hard Light Productions Forum profile, I will still be using my Facebook account in the years to come.
This, then, is probably the main reason why I’m still here: because I’ve made a home of sorts out of this place. During the duration of my Storytelling module, I grew a small bond to this blog, in the same way that I grew a bond to my current bedroom in a four-room flat at Bedok South. The reason? Everything about this blog was chosen or done up by me, and only me. The decision to use this weird sunflower theme was made by me, and every single blog post I make here was written up in the best way I think possible, with absolutely no outside influence whatsoever. Even during the Storytelling period, where posting here was part of a graded assignment, my posts weren’t forced out in any way. They just decided to take shape from me typing on the keyboard. The low number of visitors to this blog isn’t a deterrent; it may in fact serve as an incentive for me to stay here even longer.
My Hotmail account is still used by me today, simply because I’ve identified myself with it. Every form of spam possible has made it there simply because I specified this e-mail address as my own, and saw it as my own. Despite the occasional issue with the way Microsoft scripts the web interface of Hotmail, I just refuse to make a switch to, say, GMail, for this very reason. I’ve even tinkered about with it so that it automatically sorts e-mails on specific subjects into separate folders. I no longer view it as just another e-mail account; I view it as my e-mail account, something that I’ve tinkered with to make it my own and to be proud of.
On the other hand, it is the community at Hard Light Productions that convinced me to stay and contribute there, even long after they’ve resolved my issue. In my eyes, they are the greatest bunch of misfits ever to walk this Earth, and I enjoy chatting, replying, arguing and insulting them, and getting a fair share of the same in return.
Why am I still here, then? The only answer to this is because I choose to be here. There may be greener pastures at other places, but the greenest grass is hardly ever more appealing than the most comfortable sofa couch in the world. This blog is that sofa couch; a place for me to just lean back and write lengthy essays about my life as it is.
